And then he dropped this on me: "Tell me about your career goals. Where do you want to go from here?"
Um...what? When did I forget about that part of life? I was always so sure about stuff like that in high school and college - where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do, etc. But somewhere along the way in real life, I just forgot to think about it.
I realized all this and proceeded to panic. A meeting I was totally in control of 10 seconds earlier suddenly seemed completely overwhelming. I felt my face getting hot, I started sweating in a cold room, and my eyes started to fuzz over. Is that what a panic attack feels like? Job interviews, first dates, final exams...I have survived them all without such an incident, but when someone asks me what I want to be when I grow up I totally lose it. Great.
I gave some kind of answer - I tried to be honest about my ambitions changing and I told him where I thought I wanted to be someday...but it's hard to guess about something like that. I guess the real problem isn't that I don't have goals anymore - 'cause I totally do - just that they're focused somewhere else. The career ambition in me has mellowed with age.
Here's how I could have answered the question, but I'd hate to be irrelevant. I guess I could have at least proved that I DO have goals.
- I wanna be an author. Of books that have nothing to do with the industry I'm in. So you know...whatever help you could give me with that...
- I'd like to go back to South America and volunteer again. Will HR experience be beneficial?
- Mastery of the Spanish language. Latin day once a week?
- My secret dream is to arrange flowers for weddings. Do we have a cross-training program for that?
- Have a well-organized, stylish home. Can I use my training budget on feng shui?
- Develop chef-like abilities. Department discount at Sur La Table would be super.
- More literary knowledge. Surely reading the works of Dickens is a goal, yes?
That's all. I'll be chewin' on it for a while...you know...since you asked.
4 comments:
The same thing happened to me when I was applying for a new position at my old job - the whole "where do you see yourself in five years?" I didn't know what to say - I definitely didn't see myself still working there, in fact, I didn't see myself working at all. Not the kind of answer you want to give when applying for a higher position.
Whenever I am asked that question, which isn't really very often, I always want to say "quit here and become a stay-at-home-mom." I have absolutely no career ambition. I guess I am lucky then to have fallen into my dream job which I am not so excited to quit.
um, yea i DID ask! Okay, SUCH similar experiences... and do you realize how freakishly alike we are? I mean, I've thought this before but this post - wow. And I think about this all the time while I;m work. Like, Hannah, where we gonna go from here... but wait a secong! there is no WE, its just me myself and I, sister! so you can imagine how werid that sounds when I get asked what do want to do, Hannah?
-um, get a masters in English and be a really smart mom who reads to her kids and writes down all the funny thing they do that make me happy. period. there you have it.
uh, a lotta - lotta typoes.
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